Theres a scene in the musical wicked, which is one of my favourites.

After being tricked by Glinda into wearing a hat that will ruin her already non-existant social life at a dance, Elphaba dances in the way she wants to, pretending nothing is unusual about that at all.
The guy comments on her lack of caring for what people think.

Glinda turns round and says no, of course she cares. She just pretends like she doesnt.

Its the turning point in the musical that Glinda sunddenly feels for Elphaba after all her meanness =P

But i keep thinking about this.

So much of what we see is what we are told to see.

For example, people who are amazingly stunning, jaw-droppingly gorgeous, have said about how little confidence they have. How they hate the way they look.

But i guess I'm the same. Until my reccent burst of confidence, if i could change the way i look, i would have done in an instant. But when people find out i have no confidence, hate who i am, its not what they are used to seeing.

Im 'bubbly' apparently. I have a pretty good front to cover my insecurities, and like i said in my old blog, when i get scared, alot of the time i'll become loud or bouncy. Sometimes its genuine happiness, like sunday at bowling with Ellie and roseanns =D but its also something you wouldnt expect.

Now i was looking at why im like this. My family doesnt have amazing self esteem, my friends are beutiful but dont realise, and bullies allways manage to find insecurities.

But thats on a more personal level. I also want to know why SO MANY people are effected by this.

I havent read the book, i confess, Mirror Mirror is one that Rachel has described to me, so that i know what its about and what it made her think about...

But according to Rachel, this book talks about high confidence, and low confidence, are frowned upon in society and with people.

Too much confidence is arrogance, and therefore not something to encourage. People are so paranoid about appearing arrogant that they talk themselves down.

Then you have low confidence, in which cases you get depression, body dismorphia and other problems that people just dont know how to deal with.

We're told to find an even balance, but its really not that easy.

So we pretend we dont care what people think of us. We pretend to have the confidence to be able to do whatever, hear whatever.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, right?

Wrong.

Words hurt and stick so much more, because they make you doubt yourself. What you know, what you do, who you are.

What effect does that have on our confidence?

Where should our confiendence be?

Can we get to that?


Bored.. babbling. bye =P xx