New year. New beginnings.
Yeah, Im pretty sure it changes nothing.
Just a temporary- potentally permanantly- goodbye to blogger.

I am entirely lost on what to do now.

I've been told not to stop with my blog, and that it helps me more than I know.

But then its been stereotyped

Its been quoted

Its been laughed at

And alright, I have sense of humour, I'm not that bad, but with the many comments, I cant decide if its a good idea.

Maybe I'll go private...

But then that defeats the point =/

I need a diary, a notepad, I just cant bloody find a decent one, which means i cant write in it. That way, I wouldnt have to subject everyone to my daily rants and bitches.

ARGH

Unsure.

The other thing Karen asked, to continue my last blog, was what my friends thought of me, and what strangers thought of me.

I know what strangers think of me. From walking into a room of a year ten form with Sadie to promote freaking Christmas Cards (which tbh I only helped with because Sadie asked me, I was a tad busy otherwise =/ ) and just before Sir gets them to be quiet, I hear a kid near me go "God, that one on the left is fucking ugly".

I carried on with my little speech and for ages it didnt bother me all that much. It does now. I wore a dress on Christmas and Boxing Day when i went to see family, and all i could think about was that comment, and why did i have to look the way I did?

And I guess thats the superfcial side of me...But thats what strangers see. Im fed up with my friends finding out about things like this and going "but you are beautiful!".
Well no, obviously not.

And what do my friends think of me...Well I gave some vague answers, but to be honest, as awful as it sounds, alot of the time my friends tell me I'm amazing. Which i know isnt true. And so I dont absorb what they say, because they're just playing the part that comes with the job description.

So then she gave me a few seconds to think about it. So I said something along the lines of that each friend would probably say something different. For example, Mullins would see me as confident and outgoing, but Andrew would see my total lack of inteligence. Leanne would see the bitchier side of me, but Sophie would see the more joking side.

It all changes.

So Karen then asked the stupidly cliched question of "So who are you you around?"

And it was weird. I'd never thought about it like that...I always thought that yeah, I have a mask but thats just what everyone has, i didnt realise it was different.

So she gave me a few seconds to think up my answer. It took ages for my brain to sort through it. People I had been me around, now...well they hurt me. So they never saw me again. And never will.

So I kept thinking. She did the watch check thing though, and though i wanted to think about it properly, without realising it she had rushed me.

Ellie, was who I said. And I realised it was true. Genuinely, Ellie is the only one really who I feel totally comfortable around. She's seen me cry, at church, when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm mad or freaking out, and I dont have to try to be different to what I am.

However, somehow, at the most amazing sleep over ever, Hooban, Claire, Liam and I were talking about important things to us, and conversations went off on tangents, and somehow, we were talking about it. I said that the only person I could work out was-

Hooban cut me off. She said Jasper.

That was another few seconds of thinking. I love Jasper to peices, he was totally there for me, but I'd ruled him out when talking to Karen because I never told him my problems any more, because they werent his business and I'd done that enough.

But as Hooban said it, I worked out its kinda true. Because I am me, whether thick or clever, funny or stupid. Even through the looks i get.

So now i have two people.

Then we somehow got onto a discussion about God. It was great, Hooban is a catholic, Claire was unsure, and Liam doesnt like it at all. It was extremely interestng and good fun.

So then I was asking do I show God my full self?

And I dont. At all. I show him different sides at a time, and he can see me for who am- but I dont show him that.

Maybe thats what my issue is.

Karen told me yesterday that if I was so keen on making sure people knew -at least in part- who i really am, rather than who I was, I had to write down who I thought I was. There were no right or wrong answers, just opinion, and she wouldn't, couldn't, and didn't want to judge. She just wanted me to write it down. Who did I want people to see?

I actually couldn't answer her. What little ideas I had in my head of how I wanted people to see me would sound big headed, and besides, they were barely ideas.

I just kept saying to her, "I don't know.".

I could see, even with all of her training, she was a tiny bit frustrated.

But the same thing happened in my hypnotherapy, with crazy-hippy-hypno-lady. I had to describe myself. I refused.
"Charlie, the only person who cant describe themselves is stupid, and you are not a stupid person."

Well apparently I am because I couldn't then, and I still can't now.

What do I want people to see?

I guess...

I want them to see I'm not who I was.

I was rude and violent and aggressive.

Karen said that I only became like that because of the bullying, and so it became a cycle. But still, I was that person to some people, and I shouldn't have been and I regret it.

So I managed to work out I wasnt (as) rude or aggressive or violent any more. That was something I had to prove.

I then tried to work out where that left me, and all I could think of was Leilas facebook mail, where she said how great it was I didnt give up and I opened my heart to people.

So I tried to explain that in a way...I wanted and strived to be this person that could help, and I really hope that I do help, at least some of the time for some people anyway.

So that was something on my list.

She asked me how my parents would describe me...I knew Mum, but hadn't a clue for Dad. I was going to ask him today but he's in a strop, surprise surprise. Words would be used like "Bright" and "intelligent", as impersonal as a teacher would use.

She asked me if I was bright or intelligent, and I said kind of, only my expectations are low, because that way I can only be pleased and rarely disappointed.

She'd given up on me writing by this point. She picked up on hints that I had accidentally made, for example that I'm stubborn.

So my list, as it stands right now, is as follows.

Vaguely smart but too scared of failure.
Stubborn.
Strive to prove myself.
Easy to talk to...

And thats it. That is, apparently, how I see myself, when I was trying to be as positive as possible.

Well that sucks.

Okay, I'm stopping changing templates now, I like this one so I will stick with it =)



Today was really nice =)



Well. The morning was a tad strange. But I went out this afternoon with Jasper, which was truely lovely =) And my christmas present from him was a U2 CD that he loves. I'm really looking forward to listening to it to be honest. It'll be interesting...and something to talk about if we ever run out of conversation if nothing else =)

So tomorrow is Christmas Eve, meaning that the day after is Christmas.

And all of this December, I've been trying to work out if that means something.

So the majority of my Christmas' have been spent as an atheiest, which means that it was the season I enjoyed rather than the meaning. I still used to get the fuzzy feeling...YOu know, the one you get when you watch Love Actually or the Muppets Christmas Carol. Its just friendly and familiar, and nice =). I always enjoyed Christmas. I was never a spoilt kid overly, I got and still get one main present a year from my parents, so this year its a Guitar, last year it was my iPod, the year before it was a camera...etc. But that would be it from them, I would ask the rest of my family for anything else. So christmas was never really, for me, about the gifts.

As bloomin cheesey as it sounds (Does cheesy have two E's or three??) I always loved Christmas because I'm an old romantic, and thought it was beautiful.

I can remember being really young and loving Christmas because all the family disputes stopped for the day, all the family would be gathered in one room, noone would care that a member of the family was divorcing someone (Which, for some reason, when it happened was a massive no-no) or that the company of one family member was truely terrible, it was just everyone sat around with cheesy over-played Christmas music on the stereo, random I-saw-it-and-thought-of-you-gifts in front of everyone, and the same meal on the table.

It was safe and stable. Christmas was when you could actually see love.

So then I became a christian and it all had a whole new meaning. I mean, I had a heart attack when mum was listening to Oh Come All Ye Faithful (Listen to the Third Day version. I mean it. Do it now.), because at first it didnt click it was Christmas music- I just heard Christian music. Jesus was being praised and the praise-ee didnt even realise!

I then began to see the comercial side of it. How people make money from people in this season with over-priced pointless goods, without a heart for the true meaning of Christmas.

And because Jebus was born in March, I cant really sing happy birthday now can I?

I mean...Has anyone heard the advert on Heart Cambridge by Hope Cambridge? Its a countdown of whats important at christmas.

Its awesome. Number one, of course, is my favourite baby Jebus =)

So Im still tryng to work out what it actually means to me.

And I think I may have worked it out...

Its like it used to be when I was young. Its spreading Love.

Cheessssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
I know.
But still.
I have a point =)

If for one day at christmas, with one present, with one smile, or hug, for just a second, one person can feel loved, surely its perfect?

You can see love at christmas.

Ever seen Noels Christmas Presents?

If you give that a 'meh' then you're like me. I hadnt watched it, assumed it would be another Rich Persons excuse to give some people some holidays they could probably already afford.

It wasnt. It was amazing. The thought put into some of the ideas....The true joy that the recipicants got from them...I nearly cried.

Key word nearly. I'm not that bad =P

And I've stuck mostly to the idea this year. Because I gave gifts that would cheer people up or make them smile. Granted, not all of them were any where near as good as i would like, but most of them were personal and were to make people smile.

I have no idea if it worked. But i hope it did. That was the intention.

I must leave this blog with a perfect quote from my favourite film =)

A cup of kindess that we share with another
A sweet reunion with a friend or a brother
In all the places you find love it feels like Christmas
It is the season of the heart
A special time of caring
The ways of love made clear

The blog skin is going to change.

Probably because in my boredom I'm having too much fun looking at new ones, as well as the fact I havent found the perfect one yet =)

Sigh.

Bebop =) x

ps- HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE-EVE!

I'm just...So...
ARGH.

My head wont make a decision before second guessing it. I cant work out anything. And I mean anything. I cant sleep but I'm always tired. I feel sick when i eat but I'm always hungry. I cant work out what to do any more.

YEESH.

I chose the new skin because I liked it.


It has nothing to do with the fact it has pretty converses on it.....

I am bored you see.

Having completed the only game I own on DS (which i reccently found- who knew it could be so amusing?) which, as cool as I am, is Spyro (=D) I have not alot really left to do.

Except eat. Oh my goodness by January I will be massive, I have eaten so much.

OOOO!
I know what I can blog about!!!

Thursday!!

Thursday was really scary. I mean really really scary. I got invited round one of my friends with my lunch crowd.

I was terrified.

Not necessarily because of them. Because to be honest, I wasn't going to go. I had, for the last few months, felt a bit...seperated from them. Because, well, I don't feel like I fit in. I get frustrated too quickly, or I havent the energy to go with the flow on most of it. My humour isnt like theirs, and we dont really have that much in common any more, seeing as my other crowd hang out in the same place now, I kinda hang with them a bit more.

Which I would feel guilty about, but I'm sure they wouldnt miss me seeing as there are so many of them, and I would always talk to them when the time came up...

But the person I miss the most is Sophie. Hugely. I love her to peices and hate that we dont really hang out any more. So she told me I should go, and i thought about it, and i put off asking about it for ages, and I delayed thinking about it.

And then she told me she'd heard Laura and Jonny saying that they hoped I went, because I dont hang out with them any more.

And ohmygoodness I felt bad.

I'd gone and done a Hamsterr. (Will explain in the next half).

In their eyes, I'd ditched them for others. I hadnt, that wasnt my intention, but i hadnt hung around with them as much as i should have...

So i agreed to go. Only it was snowing, and there was no way on earth that I was going to walk to bloody brampton from School in the snow. So i went home to get changed... And seeing as Leanne and Sophie didnt want to walk either, they came home with me.

So we went to Rhiannons, and she is a pretty damn good host tbh. Food, entertainment, we were sorted. Well, the Wii and singstar, which in theory is a good idea...

In practice...Well....

With the Wii, Lanni is terrifyingly competative. Cue for me to hide behind the sofa. And Rachel gets squeaky. THANKFULLY there was food before long.

Which i ate masses of. Oops. Laura goes on about how much she's eaten, and I know that I ate double...Oops....

Then singstar.

Now okay, Singstar...well....Okay. The best way to get my point across is to explain it. Two of our group like singing very much. The same two have, or have had, lessons for their voices, one generally, and one for stage.

So you see, they take this very competatively.

Thats not even the issue.

The issue, is that they both try to out-do each other in loudness and ability, and so they end up over-singing a song. I dont know if that makes sense. Um...Think Susan Boyle singing Blue. Or something. You cant deny that theyre good- theyre amazing. But it doesnt suit the song, the idea of the song is to have fun, which, ideally, is the point of singstar also.

So Rachel and Lanni and I bugged them throughout the first song to calm it down. They did a little bit, i have to admit, and that was the only complaint i had really for the night.

I beat Jonny
Sorry. Very rarely do i brag, but on busted, I kick ass =D

The strange thing that emerged from the evening was the friendship with leanne. I havent been friends really with Leanne, properly, since about this time last year because of when she went skitz at me because she thought I kissed the guy she fancied.
Which I hadnt. Oh teen drama.

Anyways, she's actually amazing =) She's also a socia-phobe. Rarely comes out to gatherings or anything. Shes not really, but she doesnt like to be sociable too mcuh =)

She also surprised me a few days ago, sending me a text to check up on how i was when i was upset. It was a bit out of the blue, I didnt expect it. So we kind of had this weird little sort-of-but-still-with-banter friendship going on.

I like it =) Its nice.

Oh Oh Oh and I got badges.

AND OHMYGOODNESS I got a Slinky Dog from Toy Story (Does he have a name?). And Mr Potato head. (Which i dont understand but is cool anyway =)). And an UP sticker book =D. And a poster of pictures!!!! And badges which are so going on the bag im going to buy =D

Haha. Im done.

As you can see, I have temporarily swapped my template for something a little more striking...

And, well.

Bigger =)

To Blog or Not To Blog?

Meh. Cba. Jasper, dont hate me, your present is going to be beyond late =)

Five more sleeps people =) xxx

I feel somewhat more relaxed today than I have in quite a while.

When people say they're under pressure, I feel it as though i actually am- my head feels heavy and I cant focus.

Well loads of stuff thats been going on has put me under pressure, but one of them was an Entertainment Show for Year Elevens. Prefects had to organise it at the request of our head of year, and in the first meeting, i suggested we should make it an entertainment show rather than a talent show- which meant we could have more of a joke with some of the acts rather than two hours of piano or flute, which undoubtedly, head of year would have been happy with.

Unfortunatly, they loved the idea, and with a friend of mine, I got pressured into taking responsibility for it, to lead it with Hoobs.

And oh my goodness its ridiculous. We have a meeting with prefects who wanted to help organise, and most of them didn't listen at all. We asked a few people to start sorting some things out, and they didn't. We asked them for names, ideas, contributions, and audition ideas.

We got nothin.

So then we spoke to head of year, who was set on some really really stupid ideas that nobody wanted to do, so the group of prefects then started shouting about how rubbish it was. Well its not our fault is it?

So anyway, we conviniently forgot those.

So then we sent out sign up sheets to form tutors.

Most people who signed up didnt use the form and expected me to remember all of them, most of them were late, and alot of them didnt fill it in properly.

There were no time for auditions, which was lucky, because I didnt see the point- I mean really, we know everyone in our year by now, we know who can do what, and noone's gonna do anything stupid for fear of our really critical year.

So we finally had a list, so in an attempt to keep everyone involved, we asked everyone who signed up (About 15 people) to come up with some sort of order, and work out the rest of what we needed to do...

And only about five people turned up, and they only came because they were my friends or Hoobs'.

So then we had a FINAL LIST.

But then someone didnt want to do it. Someone wanted to take their place. I got shouted at in history because we put them in the first half and not the second. More acts signed up through word of mouth.

So there was a new NOT-QUITE-BUT-A-LITTLE-BIT-MORE-FINAL-LIST.


All the while, we have to go to meetings with the head of year, who doesnt turn up. We have to wait for her to go to the lighting guy, because we cant (as students), so until yesterday we didnt even know we had him (That was a major panic!), and then she tells us we need to give him lighting requirements by the end of the day.

Well, frankly, thats impossible. She told us we had to. So off we went, to see this lighting guy, who thankfully(!) was a student and so agreed to just wing it.

So what next? Well, we sorted out the list, emailed round form tutors and students to meet at lunch if they were in the show to sort out final details.

Although head of year suddenly decided we had done that wrong and should have done it sooner- although our email systems are disconnected to students, so we actually couldnt.

And then, with me having minor heart attacks with it every now and again when i remembered something i need to do....

We have a snowday.

HAHA!

Thank God =D

Now Head of Year and Head of Prefects will give us credit for organising it, and we wont have to deal with any of the potential disaster. HAHA!

=D

Sorry!!!

I've been told my Blog is becoming more and more morbid.

Im sorry =)

Please feel free to stop reading.

I just try now, not to put my problems on other people so much, because firstly, it never helps, and secondly, Im sure theyre rightfully not interested =)

Unfortunately, my only outlet is my blog, so I'm sorry its become so doom and gloom- its just how I am feeling at the moment.

Reason for blogging.
I think today could have been one of the worst days I've ever had.

I thought I had lost a friend. I didnt know what the text meant, whether it was a epiphany moment, or a goodbye, and I was terrified because i was powerless.

I had no idea how much i cared for her until i thought i could lose her, as cheesy as it sounds.

It ripped at me...I got sent out of Chemistry for crying, and dragged out of PE to talk to some counsiller thing because my Chem teacher was panicking.

I appreciate my teachers concern, of all the teachers to see it, she would be the one I would pick, but i never show my breaks in public, ever, and i lost it totally today.

Im scared of losing people.

I also hurt now, like hell, even though I'm so so happy that my friend is okay.

Because I never knew, that while having a mini breakdown, people could still find a way to push you further and further down...

it hurts.

Im tired of it hurting.

And now im scared that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Where is the light?

I like Lady Gagas music.

THERE!

I said it.

Please don't hate me Jasper =)

Reaching out, she takes hold of her friend's hands. Her rock, her support, her comfort and her friend. They are close, they are friends, they are unbreakable. Each needing the other, her friend holds to her as much as she does.

But the rock begins to fade. Slowly at first, but then faster and faster. Soon, she is only a spectre. A memory of a friendship beginnning to pass and move on.

To mark this, the spectre begins to pull away, seemingly without realising. And at first, neither does she. It is, after all, unbreakable. And so it is with some anquish she begins to feel the pull of the spectre. She clings now, to the hands, her only contact and way of keeping her.

The spectre begins to seep through anger and disappointment, through to her. She feels them, and changes them to pain, for every anger is a reminder of how she messed up the best thing she had.

The spectre pauses occasionally, before yanking violently.

She doesnt know what to do- does she let go, or keep hold? Whats better for both of them? If she knew releasing would be best, she would, even if it hurt...

The world and the life outside this strange existance keeps going, stabbing occasionally at her, crippling her and taking away her hope, but the spectre doesnt see this, she cant, as the mask remains perfect at all times- the spectre just keeps pulling, every now and again, not seeing what the other feels.

She prays, and she wishes, and she hopes for the spectres future...

As she lets go, finally, falling into the water and below the surface, sinking, sinking....

And under the water, you cant see her tears.

Is it a little strange that i sort out my feelings as if it were a story of some sort?

Its what makes most sense. Because you see, in this story, its from my point of view, and is my life. My complications and plot twists, love interests and friendships.

Its also waiting for a happy ending.

Bizarrely, and I think I may just blame Disney, for this, I have always believed theres a happy ending. A light at the end of the tunnel. Hope everywhere. Because there has to be.

I always assumed it would be in life, as most of my life was as an athiest. I'm almost scared to agree with the Christian teaching that the Happy Ending isn't until afterwards. Because that means i have nothing to work towards, nothing to fight for- death is inevitable and so as a christian and beleiver, therefore as is some form of Yayness when I die.

Its okay, I'm not being creepy, I'm just babbling.

Its strange to me how much everything begins to resemble a story when you really look at it.

Think of yourself. Picture your friend. Picture the lessons you've learnt, and how you've learnt them. Have there been unexpected areas of your life? An introduction where you learnt important things? Stages of your life that you can label Chapters?

Well It works. Maybe not for anyone else, but for me.

And if i were reading my story, I'd close it and stick it somewhere else. Maybe give it to a charity shop.

I'm that much of a dysfunctonal Character, noone would read me. Noone would care about my teenage angst or whatever, because it all, inevitably, is pointless. The things that stress me out and pull me down are boring. Even I wouldnt write me.

When thinking of my life like this, I was stunned by how much of a part my minor characters played...You know in a book you're supposed to have a few main characters aside from your lead, and then those that arent the very closest would be minor characters?

Its like...Leila. Or Claire. Or Jordan.

They're not main characters in my life. Theyre not people I talk to when I'm feeling crappy, or go out with every week, or spend hours on the phone talking to.

Theyre people who i love though, very much, who make me smile and pull through for me.

Alot of the time, they pull through for me more than the main characters do.

And if God is the master weaver in this whole mess of a manuscript, why did he waste the ink?

Why is the plot written in a dark tone?

The rainy cloud on a ray of sunshine?

Why would he plant doubt and self-hatred everywhere? Surely it would make a rubbish book?

So forget the writer. Why would the main characters be a source of pain more often than a source of joy? Surely they should be emotional strength and comfort?

So that begs the question, the writer is not flawed, the writer is perfect. So the character must be flawed. Broken. Unworkable. Merely a minor character a writer would kill off later.

Again, not literally, just metaphorically.

Sigh.

Final question, Why would that person be referring to their life in the third person and in terms of a book?

Yeesh they have issues.

Lost in place
in face
in space

Sigh.

I give up.

Really, I do.

Its just a waste of space.

Im back to my first post again.

Yaaaay.

-

I think my enthusiasm for anything and everything has been destroyed.

I had a blog all written, with just a paragraph left to write about how excited I was about Christmas, and how I aimed this year to make everyone smile, I didnt care how, but if Christmas was about Jesus, its the best time to smile. I wrote about how I hated seeing my friends so upset or stressed and I wanted to do something to cheer them up...

I just deleted it. Because now, my head hurts, i know that the gifts i have for people are crappy, and will probably just leave people annoyed at me, I know that Jesus wasn't even born at Christmas, and hardly anyone else gets why its such a big deal. I know that Christmas is just a commercial excuse for a holiday and noone really gives a crap. I cant be bothered with it, its too much effort.

I was really excited about wanting to (Continuing the theme) create some sort of Christian event before or after Christmas. I knew everyone was kinda experiencing a drop in their faith, and I had prayed about it and had a feeling it would be great.

But it would be me organising, so noone would want to come, it'd fail epically, and would only make things worse. Its safer not to. And anyway, like our church would pull through for us.

I was really excited that this year I would make it a year to be close to everyone..I was going to email all my cousins and suggest we go out for starbucks around or after Christmas, because all my aunts do is squabble and so even though my family live locally, I barely know most of them. I was going to make a renewed effort with my friends, with people i didnt know very well, and work to be a friend everyone can count on...

And I've ended up saying "Bah Humbug" to the lot of them. Sure, I enjoy meeting up with people I rarely see, but I'm finding myself lost in the friendships i have...And wondering if there is any point. I'm ridiculously lonely at the moment, which is ridiculous, I have a boyfriend and friends all around me...But every sign I get tells me that the friends dont want me there, or they'd prefer someone else, or that i should just leave cause everyone would feel better about that.

Im drowning, again. I didnt even realise I'd broken surface until I was under it again. I have a boyfriend with a shaky relationship, a group of friends whom at least two dont want to talk to me, I'm petrified about New year, because it means January, it means after Christmas, it means its a year since i wanted nothing more than to stop everything by any means possible. I'm in frickin therapy, which oh-so-helpfully, they give you one session then make you wait two months. Within two months who knows what I could be doing. Two months takes me to freakin february. Im scared now! I dont know if i even want to come back any more.

I dont think I'm strong enough for it.

I know these are just stupid examples, but there are loads of them, and I'm fed up. So now I've ranted and wasted your time. Sorry. PLERGH.

='(

I have had a somewhat stressful week, with various things going on, including mocks. At least one exam every day, on three occasions, three in one day, and way too much pressure to be bothered with. But, amidst that stress, somewhat irresponsibly, i went to a gig.

Now my idea of a gig, to be perfectly honest, from my own experience, is that the crowd is usually a mix of mostly young people, whom will push and jump and dance in mad excitment to the amazing band playing.
However that might just be because i am somewhat of a music-gig novice.

My parents suggested some time ago that we do something family-like for christmas. How do you say no to that? So i kinda did the teenage 'Myehhh' noise, and expected them to forget about it, as they do pretty much every year when they plan something eccentric.

It seemed though, that Dad had spent too long listening to heart radio, because no more than a week after that, did he come in suggesting two 'gigs' for want of a better word, which we could go to.

The first, is Christmas with the Rat pack. I, unfortunatly as my parents well know, have a massive soft spot for that kind of music. Having hidden it deep, a tribute act didnt seem like the greatest idea.

The other idea was another tribute act, but this time for the Beatles. Alas, my parents had me here also- Sgt Peppers is potentially the greatest album ever. I love it. Apart from the song Within You Without You, which i can only listen to when im a bit hazy. =P

Well, you cant really say no to those can you? Unable to decide, my Dad, in his booking frenzy, booked both.

So yesterday, I went to The Bootleg Beatles with my parents and my aunt and uncle. It was no crazy rave, i can tell you that...

It was quite scary really. I had no idea what to expect. It didnt help that the last time I was at the corn exchange, it was to see Delirious?, so it was a tiny bit different.

You know when you go to a gig and theres this sort of excitement everywhere? Its in the air, you get infected by it...
Well there was none of that. Just alot of balding men and overly-dressed-up-women. Out of my depth much?

But it was all in the name of family time, so after being bullied into getting a drink (My aunt...I love her, but she can be scary when she wants to buy me something =P) we went and sat (Yes sat...At a gig? What on earth?) in our row, and myself and mum amused ourselves by watching the guy who came and sat on his own and fell asleep.

Then the music started...

And oh my goodness.

It was amazing.

Soft spot for a bit of good music aside, the guys- albiet with their dodgy liverpool accents- were amazing. The voices were amazing, passable as beatles for sure, and the drummer was astounding. He had me smiling the entire way through.

Why?

Because he was so damn happy! He played every song like it was his favourite, dancing, and smiling, and putting everything into his playing. When he had to have a long wig on (Yeah, they dressed up like them too...its not as bad as it sounds =P) he would put it over his eyes with a massive grin...I know it sounds stupid, but he made me so much happier =P

They played some of my favourites- "All My Loving" and "All you need is love" as well as "She's leaving home" and "Hey Jude". Mum was annoyed, her two favourites werent played =P

It was nice to see mum so relaxed as well. She really really enjoyed it and i love her very muchly.

It was a truely amazing evening. Im back to listening to my 73-Beatles-songs-playlist on shuffle =P

I love how their music is like its raw. There arent five hundred layers to it, its just a few guys playing around with some sound and singing some cheesy lyrics. They dont overcomplicate it, its simple and fun.

There isnt really much like it now, which makes me sad...

So now i need to start stealing Albums off of people. Anyone got Beatles? =D