Risks in life are essential.

Everyone tells you to take a risk but there never quite seems enough benifits to outweigh the risk =)

People keep playing it safe, hiding from what they could possibly achieve.

Not just in real life, but in faith also.

The blog was prompted by something someone said in a main service at Soul Survivor- "Faith is spelt R-I-S-K"

Which i can flip to say not just in faith but in real life.

I've taken three risks which i wouldnt have done if i didnt have an air of recklessness from my depression, which i have only benefited from.

One- Telling Michael that i liked him =P Been together six months. Its been one of the best things in my life and i dont know where i would be now without him. I dont mean to be gushy or girlface, but he means so much to me and has changed me so much.
But i dont usually tell people that i like them until they have convinced themselves that after fancying me for so long and me not made a move, that blatently i dont like them... =/
It was a risk, i remember the rush of hope fear and excitement.
It paid off
And it was awesome (Y)

Two- Talking to God.
It was a risk in case i opened up to let the pain in and find that he wouldnt help me.
He didnt.
I honestly have no idea what he did...
I THINK, and think is indeed the main word here, I thnk he gave me acceptance.
Of who I am, where I am. I have fear for the future, as always, but i dont...
Hate has become too strong a word to describe how i feel for myself now, which is a first for a very very long time.
To explain to those curious as to what happened at SS, God caught me twice- or at least i thnk it was God.
The first time was when I was attacked with about a hundred bad thoughts about myself all at once, and all i wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never ever come out again...
So Matt made me jump up and down in worship, cause i couldnt sing when i lost my voice.
It worked =D
The second time he showed me a fraction of how it would feel to lose Matt or Roseanna, both of whom i was praying for at the time. It hurt. He told me something strange, which is why both Matt and Roseanna tell me for certain it Was Not God (With capital letters and everything =P)
I think it was. Im not sure where i stand on it, but i think i've figured it out. Either way i wont be listening to it for a while =)

My third risk was my most reccent and the one people seem to be aware of...
Telling my parents about my SHing.
It sucked, i didnt like it at all, but if i ever want to beat this thing i need outside help and not just tryin to do it on my own- Though thanks to people that tried to help me, you were amazing =)
I told Mum, who in turn told Dad when i wasnt around, because i get on well with Mum better than Dad.
She handled it okay, she said that she suddenly figured if out when i was at Soul Survivor, as to why i wore long sleeves in the summer. Tbh im thinking Godism here, because that was when i decided in my head to tell her.
The only issue with it is that she wants me to get Hypnotherapy, which i am strongly against.

Anyways, this was meant to be for other people and not to explain me, but ah well i have managed both.

If youre reading girly, just do it.

You cant lose any more than by what youre thinking now.