Sorry!!!

I've been told my Blog is becoming more and more morbid.

Im sorry =)

Please feel free to stop reading.

I just try now, not to put my problems on other people so much, because firstly, it never helps, and secondly, Im sure theyre rightfully not interested =)

Unfortunately, my only outlet is my blog, so I'm sorry its become so doom and gloom- its just how I am feeling at the moment.

Reason for blogging.
I think today could have been one of the worst days I've ever had.

I thought I had lost a friend. I didnt know what the text meant, whether it was a epiphany moment, or a goodbye, and I was terrified because i was powerless.

I had no idea how much i cared for her until i thought i could lose her, as cheesy as it sounds.

It ripped at me...I got sent out of Chemistry for crying, and dragged out of PE to talk to some counsiller thing because my Chem teacher was panicking.

I appreciate my teachers concern, of all the teachers to see it, she would be the one I would pick, but i never show my breaks in public, ever, and i lost it totally today.

Im scared of losing people.

I also hurt now, like hell, even though I'm so so happy that my friend is okay.

Because I never knew, that while having a mini breakdown, people could still find a way to push you further and further down...

it hurts.

Im tired of it hurting.

And now im scared that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Where is the light?