I dont understand the people that make a massive deal out of a change of year.
Because really, its just another day.

We all count down to it, watch the same countdown on TV, gather together and usually drink too much, but for all the people who say "THIS YEAR WILL BE AMAZING!" Um. No it wont. Nothing has actually changed.

So my 2009 wasnt great.

But it was a little weird.

I had at least three suicidal friends. I became suicidal myself. Two of my friends suffered some form of sexual abuse. One friend was accused of sexual abuse. I learnt of a few of my friends coming to Jesus. I watched as our church youth fell apart. I lost all confidence I had. I helped small children for a week. I fell in love. I understood. I watched as friends broke. I tried to fix them up again. I went into therapy. I told my parents. I regained an old friend. I lost friends. I made friends. I discovered more fears. I documented my slow loss of hope. I laughed. I made people smile. I hurt people. I ruined lives.

Within twelve months, all of this...

And the decade itself...Well. Ouch. The last ten years mark where all started. The first bullying, the move, the more bullying, the cutting...all of it.

I want to be told that the teens will be the best years for me. 2010 onwards will be my years.

But they wont be. I know they wont. Its just going to get worse, and now I have no escapes.

Fun Fun.