Hamsterr I miss you.

I miss the person you used to be, before you were friends with them. I miss the random conversations we used to have, about really, nothing at all. I miss being able to confide in you and get your advice. I miss your random stories about your cat. I miss you improving my music taste. I miss the fun we used to have, round your house, in brampton, being totally immature. I miss how you used to just laugh at me when I said something stupid. I miss the ridiculous things we would come up with. I miss you smiling at me. I miss you being my friend.
I miss you.

I've missed you for ages now. We havent been friends in a long time. You know I'm terrified to text you? Whereas we used to have really random conversations via text (you're still saved as Hamsterrr btw =P), I'm too scared that if i text you, I'll hear that you've said somethng, like you did with Sadie when she used to invite you out.

Im scared of you now. Because you're...well, you're popular. And I know thats great, and they'll probably be better friends than us and you'll have more fun with us, and thats fine...But Im terrified, because if you can treat Leila, and Sadie, and David, the way that you do when you've known them for years; how on earth would you treat me? Im scared to talk to you.

I know I'm being awful here, and really really selfish. David told me you're happy with your different crowd and that I was being totally selfish by wishing you were still friends with us. So for that I'm really really sorry.

But you'll never see this. You'll never read it. So goddammnit, I can be selfish on my own blog. Im not even sure why I'm writing this, its somewhat pointless. But of all the letters I wanted to write on my blog, yours is the first one i needed to write.
I miss you Hamsterr. I just wish you could be friends with us, as well as being friends with them.