I cant seem to form words properly. This is taking forever...

I ended my relationship with Michael today. Its been 11 months, he meant more to me that I would ever imagine, and he was the best boyfriend.

I dont know whats wrong with me. But I'm too scared to have him as a boyfriend. I wanted, needed- or at least felt like I needed- him to be a friend and not a boyfriend.

We've had issues before and we worked through all of them. I wont stop loving him. I just think im not in love with him any more.

And its scaring me, the after effects. We both knew, yesterday, that it was going to end today. It was amicable. But I cant feel anything.

This morning, nothing. Nothing emotionally, nor physically. I didnt feel the cold, I didnt feel the disappointment at something seriously disappointing...The only thing I could feel was the pain in my teeth because of the stupid new lower brace.

After...Well, I know I'm going to miss him. Massively. But I cant feel anything. I just keep almost crying and cant work out why- I was the one who ended it...I dont feel anything...Whats wrong with me?

I was scared before, to be alone. Because If he didnt love me than noone would.

I took the risk. I dont feel lonely or lost. But then again I dont feel anything yet.

Its weird. I've never been this numb before.