Dear Friends.

Please stop.

Stop trying to make things hard for me.

Stop trying to push me out.

Stop putting me down.

I am beyond fed up with it, to be honest.

Stop complaining about me and thinking i wont find out.

Dont purposely not tell me something just to make it clear to someone else how you feel about me.

Stop acting like I'm not good enough in certain situations.

Stop ignoring your own advice.

Stop pretending like this is some big joke.

Stop bitching about people that care about you.

Dont get mad at me.

Just stop.

Make it more simple.

Please.

I have concluded about the new guy thus;

He is a likeable guy. He's happy to put up with all of our rubbish, and I genuinely like him =)

My only issue now being, that I dont think I'd want him to be our church-man.

I dont think I'd be able to approach him with a major issue, and i think he's too forward.

Im not sure...I just thought of what Jasper told me. Which is, if i could spend a day with Andy, and want him to be our youth leader to the point I'd compare other leaders to his leader-ing, and i'd spent two days with the new guy and still couldnt make my mind up, then clearly he wasnt doing it.

So thats my conclusion =)

Now to write the rest after food- Blogging and awesomeness =)

Sooo.....

New Paster guy is the first thing I want to blog about really.

He's a potential leader, nothing for certain, but he has alot of ideas, and is alot of the things we want and need for the church. I have a weird feeling about him, but i like him.

The thing is though, that I am very receptive to other people's feelings- they matter. Peoples opinions have often made me look at things in a different light, which is something I'm thankful for, but it all seems very very varied.

Some very muchly do not like him. And I can understand their viewpoint.

Some do quite like him.

And some, or one person in particualar, put the whole thing in perspective, when they said that he could only do as much as someone else could...which then someone else said, he may have the skills that we need for our youth work, but other people have those skills too- its what God wants.

Personally, I love how he changed the title. He was told Youth Work was his title for which he had to base a talk. He changed it to youth ministry, because it then meant he was providing a service rather than just working through a job.

I loved how he went on to talk about saying things in a language youth will understand. A tad patronising in places, but his key point was preaching the Gospel, as opposed to the lifestyle. You cant go up to someone and convince them to change how they live, and then show them why. You have to make it their decision- the Gospel is what is most important, and out of respect comes the lifestyle.

I was a little unsure when he came to rendezvous (Sp?!). He didnt really make a massive effort, but when he did, he was awesome. His wife didnt really talk to us/my group either. I dont know just yet.

The only thing he fell down on in my eyes was exactly what Helen said- He didnt mention anything about 'unchurched kids' as she put it.

When I asked him about it, he didnt really give an answer. He just said that he'd like to do whatever we want to do about it. We can come to him and he'll enforce a change, taking the brunt of it if he has to.

Which...Well. It didnt answer my question. But it is something I was looking for. Maybe this time when we have ideas about what to do with Church or youth or something, it'll get done rather than ignored.

Also, he talked alot about outreach. About doing alot of non-christian things to introduce them to the church in the first place. Which is great- i mean, RNA was how I became a christian. But if he's not prepared to follow that up, its a tad pointless- most parents wont be christians.

As it stands, I am undecided. Im going to church tomorrow though, as he's taking it, and I've been invited round the Sheffords for lunch with him tomorrow also. I'll form an opinion then.

Seeing as its Mothers Day on Sunday, and my mum is truly the most awesome person I know, I think she deserves a blog post that explains to the friends of mine who read my blog, exactly why she is =)



Although now I think about it, describing awesomeness is not that easy, when it is something you are, and not something you become.



My Mum is awesome, because she always knows how to make me laugh.



Case Number One- Window



Walking up the drive coming home from school. Earphones in, head down, glasses on the end of my nose where I couldn't be bothered to push them up.

Mum stands in the kitchen (Which you see directly when you walk up the drive), and runs her hands in a big circle around her head, grins at me, then puts her hands in the air and drops them.



When I get inside the house, earphones out, head up, glasses taken off entirely, and giving mum a quizzical look, she merely responds with enthusiasm- "I was a one man mexican wave!"





Case Number Two- Tortoise

I left my drink on the table in the living room when I went to my room. When I got thirsty, instead of getting a new one, I remembered I already had one and went to get it...Only to find the glass empty and moved.



Usually, I have to admit, Dad is the person who will steal my drink, particularly if its coke.



However this time, Mum sat in the corner, grinned at me, and told me all about how it was the tortoise, who ran in but was practically exhausted. So exhausted in fact, that he fell over, and lay on the floor in a half comatose state, just dying of thirst. Being the good person she was (her words not mine), and seeing my drink had a straw (which i am supposed to have because of the braces =/), she thought my drink would be the quickest and easiest for him, and so let him have a sip. The problem was he was too thirsty to have just a sip, and so drank all of it. Fortunately, it was just enough to give him the energy he needed to roll back over, and run off again. Coincidentally, I apparently walked in just after the tortoise left.



Case Number Three- Birds.

This is in fact, two cases really.

One- the fact that she was hyper at one point in the car and had a conversation with Roseanna about Chickens that were trying to find corners in roundabouts.

To be perfectly honest, she scares even me sometimes =P

Two- At about eight one evening, after I'd been kicked off the computer, Mum sat in the chair next to me, and told me about how there was a duck at the bottom of the drive.

Now the drive is pretty long. It's not like a ten-step thing. And strangely enough, I didn’t believe there was a duck at the end of our drive.

So, determined to prove me wrong, she told me to put on some shoes, got a torch, and we had to go outside (In the cold!) to see this duck.

Now, how it got out there, I have no idea. But I got given a grow-a-duck at some point, cant remember who from (oops), but the grown version was in the flower bed at the bottom of the drive.

Which of course, led me to complain that she'd buried my grow-a-duck (Because seriously, how did it get out there?!). And then, with the torch, she then noticed the fire/water sight thingy had been painted.

And that surprised her more than the duck.







To be honest, I love the strange little quirks that make me laugh about her. Including her cackling laugh =D It's just like what I imagine Nans to be. I love how her face lights up when she talks about something that she likes. I love that my friends are jealous of how awesome she is, and how they tell me every now and again "You're mum sounds really really awesome". I love how she's my rock and she'll always try to help me, even with things like German coursework, where she has the English pronunciation of letters, but with a Russian accent. I love that one of my friends picked up on how pretty she is, because there's no way she'd ever admit that she is. I just really really love mum =)



(Dad too, but its mothers day =P)



So this may seem like a long and weird post to post, but she deserves it. Especially as the best I could get her this year for mother's day was chocolate.



Much love x

I have this dillemma.

And the dillemma is that a) I cant spell dillemma =/ and b) that when I was picking Jelly Beans, they all seemed to be really dull colours so I got some UBER green ones to make it look more pretty, but actually, they taste really bad, and so i keep eating Juicy Pear flavoured Jelly Beans that actually taste disgusting. Errghhh.

Haha. I love that how miniscule the problem I have created is compared to the other ones I have =D


Yeesh =P

So Shine was/is this weekend. Im actually really glad I'm not going.
When Rise happened, I thought it sucked that I wasnt allowed to go. I know I wouldnt have been wanted there, and I never said anything about it, but I remember fighting for them to be allowed to go when it was going to be cancelled. I really wanted to go, and so much happened that weekend that I felt it sucked I wasnt allowed to go.

Now Shine is happening, and its almost the same sort of thing. The same (Almost) people going, with me now allowed to go- and I dont want to. In fact, the more I heard about it, and the people that were going and how it was going to be, the less I wanted to go. Im happier to stay at home than be entirely uncomfortable for a weekend.
I do wish I were able to hang out with the people a bit more though. Thats the only think I'm gonna miss. When Summer comes around, Katie and Roseanna are being stolen for starbucks and picnics =P


Something I'm really enjoying at the moment is playing guitar. I'm not good, not by a long shot, but theres something really calming about being able to make music. Working hard at something and being rewarded. I love it =)


I got my prom dress too, for anyone that cares =) Its terrifyingly short, but hey, its only gonna be a year 11 prom for us once, so I may as well do it properly =)



Sighh the amount of issues I have in my head at the moment prevent me from making an overly long post.

Love you Roseanna =) x

So. I gave up my grudge.

The one against the guy who messed me up that is =)

Only...I feel a hell of alot worse for it.

I thought it would be easier if I just blamed it on myself and moved on with it, which is how I normally deal with it.

Only it just feels really crappy, and not right.

Everything seems to have changed...Only noone really seems to have noticed because its all so subtle.

It sucks, to be perfectly honest.

And yes, this is a somewhat depressing post, but I try to balance out my happy posts with my rubbish posts...Hence why I havent blogged in a long time. Just havent felt overly happy I guess.

And I'm officially not getting baptised.