But then inevitably, you get used to the change, accept it, move forward and incorporate it into your lives.
Im waiting for the accepting bit. Things seem to be changing around me very quickly, and I'm unfortunately not petulant enough to stamp my feet.
People are in relationships, people are getting married, people are moving, the group is changing, dropping people and picking them up again, little vendettas being made and it all just getting a bit ridiculous.
Tired of it to be honest.
It doesn't help that for some reason my guard has lept up again. It was gone for ages, I was proper relaxing with people, and now its shot. I cant chill out with anyone now. All of today, at another riverside meet-up, I was panicking and couldnt really talk to anyone for any length without having to get up and move away for a bit.
I hated being like this before. The meal trip that we're going on is going to be total hell, its inside, with lots of people...
But people are starting to get pissy with me for not wanting to go. I don't know whether I should not go, to protect the fact I'm slowly turning into a hermit, but then face losing friends, or go, feel like crap, be labelled grumpy, and still face losing friends... but at least that way, I am a bit sociable, and if this passess, its okay for everything.
(<--- Claire is in this picture so she cant complain)I went out today, am going out with two groups and family tomorrow, will be out at a resteraunt the day after, might sleep over at a friends, then may go out sunday to see someone who I think might be around.
Which, for someone entirely antisocial, is pretty good :)
