I'm slowly dropping into my grumpy and bitter self.

My confidence has been knocked several times recently, and so obviously, my defences are at the all time high. I've got to the point in social situations that I go so far into myself emotionally, that I dont function. I feel like someone acting as myself, the me that people require me to be in various situations.

Its like being trapped inside yourself, as melodramatic as that sounds, because I do want to chill and hang out with people, so I'm trying to come out of myself, I'm just not sure I can any more. I don't even recognise myself when I'm out sometimes, its a bit too weird.

And I'm meeting new people and going into new situations, where I genuinely feel like I have no control of what I do or say. Its like auto-pilot, but someone elses.

Its irritating me.

Anyway. Riverside laters. One new person and a weird couple situation. Ayayeysh :/

I miss Ellie and Laura :(