You gonna bother talking to me? Or am I going to lose you too.

Juuust great.

There are days when I wonder what it would be like just to drop out of school and work. It would certainly be much less drama. Much less of teen drunk texting, much less 'are they ever going to text me', much less desperation for everything to be normal, without a clue what normal actually is.

Yes. I'm back in depressing mood.

I'm back to wanting to run away. A day in london, a day in cambridge, and yet none of it seems long enough.
Rome next week, and I'm so damn excited, but its not an escape, its a new situation in a new country.

I don't even know how to escape any more, I haven't the time or the ability, or indeed the funds.

I cant drive. I cant pay for transport. I can't take a few days out, though I need them.

The holiday will just mean work and family. One is exhausting, the other is argumentative. My potential new role at work makes it also potentially argmentative.

My head is so loud. A hundred thoughts all at once and none of them will pipe down long enough for me to concentrate on one.

I'd like the silence back, and the easiness. I'd like the ability to walk into the common room and chill rather than tighten up and not be able to even breathe entirely properly.

Theres no freakin reason, and thats what pisses me off. I feel like im coiled like a spring, unable to move until i suddenly snap and fly off the handle. Its so much effort not to.

Babbling, again. Too many thoughts, not enough silence.

G'night.