I guess this is my last blog about Ben, before I start my rule of not bumming people out by talking about him :)
We broke up mutually. Apparently. It was a decision for both of us in which we knew it wasn't really working any more. It hurt so damn much because it was just after I realised how much I genuinely loved him.

I hate listening to teens go on about lost loves, because my logic is that of course they're not going to last at this age. And I knew with Ben it wouldn't last as long as he wanted it to. I just didn't expect it to end so soon.

Its the little stuff thats killing me though. The fact I know I wont ever get a cute answerphone message again. The memories of the sweet things he'd said. Being forced to watch pretty bad Japanese cartoons because they're his favouritest things in the world. No more dancing around the kitchen. No more random music. No more him playing me a song he made up to wind me up.

They're the things which have caught me off guard, and still surprise me with how much they upset me. I've turned into a right girl :)

This is it now though.