When you broke up with me, did you know it would do this to me?
Did you think you'd change your mind and want me back, and if so, why do it in the first place? Did you want the Drama? If not, then why did you change your mind?
Did you think I would agree? If I came back to you, we'd never be the same. Did you think getting angry at me would help? Why did you get angry? Why didn't you stop?
You broke up with me for a reason I don't beleive for a second. It was something else. What. Why. Why wont you tell me. Why cant you be honest. And why wasnt that reason enough for you to stand by it for more than a few days.
You cant tell me you missed me. All we did was argue since we broke up, thats not a time when you suddenly realise you loves someone. You cant tell me you love me, thats not fair any more. You cant tell me we're going to be best friends and then tell me you dont ever want to see me.
You cant dictate who I talk to. Not only does it hurt that you're angry, but it hurts that you think you still have that control. It hurts you want to abuse my own feelings for you. It hurts you don't trust me to talk anyway.
If you hadn't broken up with me we could have been together for a long time. I know you expected that to happen again when you told me you wanted me back, but even if it had it wouldn't ever have been the same. I wouldn't have been able to forget.
Your anger scared me. You turned back into Hyde, but you didn't come out of it. Then I had the flash of my Jekyll, the phone call where you apologised, but within minutes you were Hyde again. You told me you wanted me to be proud of you- I will be. When you stop giving in to Hyde and hurting people. It wasn't just me.
You kept saying you love me. You cant do that. You cant let me hurt and then try to heal and then rip into me again. You cant be angry at how I try to solve my pain because I kept my promise to you. You cant try to use emotional blackmail on me. Its not like I dont have feelings for you, and they probably wont change any time soon, things like that hurt and scare me.
I didnt want you to lead me on. I just wanted you to think through your actions. Obviously it was a quick decision because you changed your mind too fast.
Youve made me doubt myself. All the comments you made about my looks, they come back and fly around my head. All of our arguments, for some reason I remember them all. And then you start conversations with me now, which you never did, and then run away if anything gets vaguely confrontational. I wish it hadnt ended up like this.
I wish you knew this.