"So what are you looking to study at Uni?"
"Theology."
"Oh...Whats that?"
"Like... Fancy RE"
"Oh really?"*Weird look* "You know, I was really good at RE, even though I'm an athiest"..

It makes me lol that people always assume these things are mutally exclusive :L

Anyway, realised I havent blogged in a while, and I've been ridiculously depressing for the last few weeks so I thought I'd post a little lighter.

I'm off school! I cant believe how fast this year has gone, I'm now halfway through Sixth form, and have uni next year. Next year man! Thats terrifying!

I'm beginning to explore being a teen a bit more, and I'm happier because of it. I'm making alot of mistakes at the moment but I dont regret them particularly, because I'm learning and growing.

I was talking to someone I havent seen in years, and told him he couldn't have really known me back years ago, because I barely spoke to him, as I was too scared of saying something stupid.
He just laughed and said "Well, you got confidence now?"

And I was thinking about it, yeah, i do. I used to go mental at my shrink saying nooo I'm not confident, I'm comfortable. At work, I wasnt confident with what I did, I was comfortable in my routine. I wasnt confident with what I said, I was comfortable I could say it. Any growth in my personality was a growth in comfort, not confidence.

Now I think I have confidence. Honestly, i can feel it. And alright, some things I still don't have confidence with, my appearance being one, but I'm confident in adapting my personality to suit andbuild my confidence.

I like it :) It calms me down just to know I have it. Finding I've made mistakes, and either correcting them or not caring, rather than spending a week fretting over it. Its nice, its a change I missed but have now seen.

Its interesting how few of my friends have been fortunate enough to undergo the transformation though. Listening to my friends now is like listening to my early thoughts. The paranoia, the loneliness. I've somehow managed to battle through, and I'm desperately trying to work out how, just so I can give them the solution too.

Love my friends. Things are okay at the moment :)

Update over. Love you all :) xx