My life has its ups and downs, just like usual.

I always now have faith that at every one of my downs, there will be an up to see me through.

Every now and again though something will catch me off guard. Like today, when I'm tired and exhausted and cold and not entirely dry from the downpour.

I get reminded ridiculously strongly that I've lost half my friends.

I miss them. Of course I do. And I know I could probably find a way to get them back. But I don't even think they'd want me now.

Even the ones I thought I was fine with...

I've been replaced. Its not something I'm bitter about, it just is as it is.

Don't get me wrong, my life has got so much good in it.

I just sometimes wish it had that little bit more again.